Write it down. Say it out loud. Share it if you want—but even if no one else gets it, you do. And that’s where your power starts.

Create a timeline. Name names. Keep records. The more organized your hell is, the easier it is to expose.

Block what you can. Unfollow. Unfriend. Unplug. You don’t owe access to anyone who keeps striking the match.

But you’re still here. Speak. Whether it’s in court, on a blog, in a group chat, or whispered into a voice memo—speak. Let the fire become fuel.

Whether it’s a survivor, a therapist, or someone in a support group—hold onto that person like a lighthouse. You don’t need a village. You just need one light.

You’re allowed to burn out and rebuild. As many times as it takes.

Bruises fade, but the fear they leave behind doesn’t. You shouldn’t have to prove the pain to be believed.

National Domestic Violence Hotline 800-799-7233

They don’t hit you—they erase you, bit by bit. You start to doubt your memories, your sanity, and your worth. Don’t wonder if you’re being abused; see a therapist regularly so you know when you are.

Consent isn’t a given just because there’s a history. And when it happens behind closed doors, the silence gets used against you. Even after separation,

They don’t have to be near you to harass you. Doxxing, smear campaigns, digital surveillance—it’s all part of the same war.

There are multiple websites, apps, and services to help you - see resources.

They call you unstable when you’re actually surviving. The court often punishes trauma instead of protecting the traumatized.

National Suicide + Crisis Hotline: 988

They weaponize money to trap, punish, or starve you into silence. Control doesn’t always come with a fist—it often comes with a budget.

It’s not just abuse—it’s domination without bruises. They micromanage your life until it doesn’t feel like yours. Do your best to limit, if not completely cut off, communication.

Addiction becomes the smokescreen they hide behind—or the weapon they use against you. On the other hand, a former spouse’s abuse can make the divorce process unbearable.

AA.org | NA.org

The messages don’t stop. The threats are subtle or loud. And no one seems to care until it’s too late. While smaller acts may not be of interest to the police, document them—a pattern, and now proof.

They came onto your property like they still owned it—uninvited, unafraid, and unpunished. It’s YOUR space, and now, call the police if they won’t heed a warning.

Reading your messages. Accessing your email. Tracking your movements. Gathering your health information. Askin inappropriate questions. Your life becomes evidence in a war you didn’t start. NONE of this is okay. The police are the right ones to help you here - not the court.

They lie. And somehow you end up on defense. The system often hears accusations louder than it hears the truth. It’s frequently the one who accuses first that is heard. Don’t stoop to this level, but get ready to fight if they are made about you.